Lately I've been really frustrated listening to women who seem to think that their husband shouldn't be allowed an opinion about child rearing, or worse yet that he's entirely unnecessary. I find it really frustrating that men are being denied their rights as fathers as joint decision makers when it comes to the children and family life.

My husband is the head of my family. Does that mean he gets to tell me what to do and how to do it, not really. But I am obligated to discuss all major decisions with him before making them. It's important that we're on the same page about discipline; sleep issues, vaccinations, education, and monetary issues. Does he get to decide when we go to playgroup and what we have for dinner? No.

A husband has stewardship over his family in religious and secular issues. A wife's responsibility is to love and care for the children, establish routine, and create traditions in the home, as well as make sure that the husband is doing and taking his job (both in and out of the home) seriously. As women we're responsible for kicking our husband's butt out the door every morning, dragging him to church, and making sure that he spends appropriate time with the children.

Your husband matters. His opinion counts. This is not to say that yours doesn't and if he's clearly wrong you're obligated to inundate him with appropriate information until he sees your point of view. He is however entitled to know what goes on at home and have an opinion about it. By providing financial support for the family he is providing a way for you to be able to spend time with your children and make sure that they're raised properly. If you didn't have him you would most likely have to work yourself, spend less time with the kids, and put them in daycare.

There is a thing called "Unrighteous Dominion" though. This is when a husband exercises too much control over the family. A wife should feel free to make all non-major or emergency decisions on her own without fear of any sort of bitterness or attitude from her husband. A husband should never raise a hand to his wife or children and should not dole out any sort of punishment to the wife. Men need to remember that they must trust the woman that they've married and understand that she would never intentionally endanger the family. Husbands and wives are partners.

Anyway, I'm frustrated and babbling. I just don't understand people who have this attitude that their husband and his opinion is superfluous to child rearing. I mean you did choose him, and decided to have children together. He can't be so totally inept that you can't reason with him. There was indeed something that you saw in him and wanted to be around. Not to mention the fact that he has just as much right to the children as you do.

"The husband is the head and the wife is the neck. When the neck turns the head must follow." Yiddish proverb

Sunday, October 28th 2007 @ 12:03 PM